Sunday Stew

This week the Sunday Stew is brought to you by this beastly thing. Enjoy.



• The above picture is courtesy of the website Look at That Fucking Hipster. The name explains it all.

• Check out this article about high-school pitcher Cory Bernard who, in a single day last week, compiled 17 K's and two wins, while pitching both games of a doubleheader in the Cal State playoffs. You might feel that pitching 11 consecutive innings is an egregious abuse of an 18 year old kid's arm. If you do, you're undoubtedly a pussy. Bernard threw just 172 pitches. Shit. As one commenter pointed out, in 1949, back when men had balls, Don Newcomb threw 16 consecutive innings in a playoff doubleheader against the Phillies. Now that's something to write home about.

• Did you know that you're only supposed to use a single-space after a period? That blew my freaking mind.

• Here's a disturbing article about the NFL's rampant DUI epidemic. In light of the Jim Leyritz / Nick Adenhart* / Donte Stallworth chain of events, this seems like a problem that the major sports leagues are gonna have to address at some point.

DUI's, of course, are gonna happen in every segment of society, but you know something is seriously fucked when there are 72 DUI offenders currently on NFL rosters. Just to put that in perspective, the NFL could field an ENTIRE team (plus a practice squad) that consists exclusively of guys who've been convicted of a DUI. But hey, good thing no one does end-zone celebrations anymore.

The fact that NFL players get a shitload of DUI's does make sense though, right? Young men, with sweet rides, who love to party, and who, by the nature of their profession, have been both conditioned to believe that they're physically invincible, and also encouraged to cultivate an abnormally robust sense of "machismo" (i.e. - not admitting to your boys that you're too sauced to take the wheel), and who also largely come from low-income urban environments in which I'd be willing to bet they did not get a lot of driving experience as youngsters**, are obviously more of a risk to take the wheel after drinking than the average person. But let's not talk about that, because it's racist. Right. Okay, good. Moving on.

* Adenhart's story is obviously very different than Leyritz's and Stallworth's, but the fact remains.

**This also, at least in part, probably explains why Asians, Blacks, and women are thought of as bad drivers. It's lack of experience. No one drives in Asia. Low-income urban blacks are less likely to own a car, and so don't start driving until much later on, and even then it's mostly neighborhood driving. Young women didn't start taking to the wheel until the Feminists started having kids in the late-60's and early-70's, meaning the first generation of equally experienced women drivers didn't begin until the 80's. (I honestly believe that by 2030, or therebouts, the women as bad drivers stereotype will be all but dead. If you don't agree, consider that women, on average, have lower car-insurance rates than men. Not good news, fellas.)

• FanGraphs has some new feature called Linear Weights, which let's you see how effective each pitch is for a given pitcher. What's the better pitch, Lincecum's fastball, Santana's changeup, Webb's forkball, or Mariano's cutter? I don't think Linear Weights solves this question -- it doesn't -- but it's a good start.

• Clay Zavada is a relief pitcher for the Diamondbacks. He doesn't have any recent media pics available, otherwise I would post one here. Why would I post a media picture of Clay Zavada? Well, because the guy has, bar-none, the best mustache of any professional athlete of the last 3 decades. Don't take my word for it. Watch a D'back's game sometime. This thing is nearly mindblowing.

UPDATE: I think Deadspin is stealing my shit. Less than 24 hours after posting about Clay Zavada's stache, I see this article. Or Zavada's stache is just too awesome to be ignored. In any event, now we have a photo.



• Good stuff. Kinda makes me want to visit Cleveland.



• Unbelievable -- as in, not to be believed -- article I first saw on Deadspin, about Warriors PR man, and former Soviet apparatchik, Raymond Ridder, who signed himself up for the Warriors World forum under the handle "Flunkster Dude", so he could covertly post comments about how awesome his new boss and GM Larry Riley is.

In regards to a conference call made by Riley to season-ticket holders -- an event that went largely ignored by Warrior fans everywhere -- Flunkster Dude opined:

"I think we are all so mezmerized by what we read in the paper and take it as gospel. I actually enjoyed the call and appreciate their honesty, even if everything was not what we wanted to hear. I would like to hear from them more often. I have already renewed and are part of the 70%, so I will hope for the best from section 121....."

Seriously, Flunkster Dude? Well shit. If you're in, I'm in.

• Yahoo Profile Pic of the Week: Warner Madrigal



I'm not sure why this picture made me laugh, but it did. Maybe because his name is Warner.

• I watched Blue Velvet this week for the first time in a half-dozen years. I'm happy to report that the movie is still fucking nuts. And still fucking awesome.

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• Carolla gets down with Damashek and the Deaf Frat Guy. Carolla gets a bum rap because of the Man Show -- or so I'm convinced. But when the dude is on his game, no one is funnier.

• Another awesome youtube vid, in a week that seemed to be full of 'em.



• Hypothetical question of the week:

Who has a worse offense:

The Giants or my schlong?

Fuck the Giants offense. And that's all I got's to say about that.