SERENITY NOW! SERENITY NOW!
Okay, fine. You know what, I refuse to be upset about this. Sorry Baron - if that's even your real name - you can't just go around telling everyone that you want to stay with the Warriors, when the whole time you secretly don't want to and know it, and then less than a week after the draft and just a day after your former team's $10 million trade exemption* expires, tell everyone not only that you're opting-out but that you're signing with an inter-divisional rival in the same state no less. Then in an interview that very night talk about how much the Bay Area means to you and that, and I'm paraphrasing, you're not even sure you'd have a career still if it weren't for Warriors fans embracing you the way that we did. Then why are you leaving? Don't leave...please. I love you. Ahhhh. You're making me do it again.
*Is it trade exemption or trade exception? Can someone clear that up for me?
No. No. I don't even care. Serenity now. Seriously, it's not bothering me at all. Yeah. You know something, you're not even that good. In fact, when you look at the landscape of NBA point guards there's like 10 guys I'd take over you: CP3, Deron Williams, Nash, Wade, Roy, Arenas, Billups, and a bunch of other guys too. So whatever.
Not to mention that you're washed up. That's right. You heard me. Your best years are behind you and you're a season ending injury waiting to happen. Over the course of your reported 5-year/$65mil contract with the Clippers you're set to play 410 NBA games. I will personally send you 10 bucks for every game over 300 that you actually suit up for. Have fun hanging out at the Staples rehab center with Elton Brand and Shaun Livingston. That knee brace always looked weird when you wore your socks high anyway.
I can't believe that you're actually excited to be playing second banana to Kobe and the Lakers for the entire twilight of your career? What's with that? Though I guess you would, you choke in the last week of the season, afraid of greatness, prima-donna, no desire, really hard dribbling, hunched over, surprisingly high-jumping, 3-point jacking, I-guy, charismatic, disgustingly likeable, spotlight sucking, back-stabber.
Push toes, Baron. You're no longer wanted here.
NOOOO! I take everything back. I love you Baron! Don't leave. C'mon dude. Just stay...
I am so torn up inside right now. I feel like my heart has been wrenched from my ribcage and crushed by the soul of your shoe like a bug. I feel like crying. I feel like...PiercedOneGirl, take it away:
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4 comments:
that is such a great video, you are the man
another note, i am totally into goth chicks, or any chick that can get away with excessive pieces of flair in their daily attire, that is hot.
I don't like this uncertainty. Mullin better pull something out of his ass.
Maybe we'll sign Artest and pull Gary Payton out of retirement- Jack and Artest re-united, thuggish ruggish bone... Sponsorship opportunity?
Eh well...we don't really want this guy on our side, do we?
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